POF redblackrye 2013 LOL

Today I wasted a bunch of time on my POF profile, originally aiming to delete it but ended up rewriting it. As it took so much of my time, I figure that it deserves to be archived for later enjoyment.

About Bob

Hello my fellow castaway in this watery pond.

I too had some stuff written here before, but one day recently, as I started to close and delete my profile after giving up, I had an Aha Moment. Go with me on this.

This is the box where you try to hack the machine to give you what you want by writing a carefully crafted statement, cross your fingers, and hope to score an awesome partner -- there is a magic step involved, so don't think too hard about it. When I signed up as redblackrye, I wrote some normal stuff that I had thought of as being representative of me and made me look presentable, and for a while I had my fingers crossed -- insightful, I know. But over time as I came across more and more profiles I noticed some repeating patterns. So now here is me, caring and sharing, my top 10 types, for your entertainment:

1) The happy noobie -- "I enjoy food and music and having fun and being warm and happy all of the time, whatever that means to you I know what it means to me, smiley face. luv gra8 ppl make me smile and laugh"

2) The cultured traveler -- "I love packaged holidays and seeing things, and experiencing new experiences, from eating while inside of speeding metal tubes, to eating while inside of hotels, also eating out and loads of shopping, it's my dream job actually. Looking for a guy who appreciates what I do."

3) The quick celebrity -- "I love pop concerts, traveling anywhere as long as I can call it travel, the finer things that I deserve for being me, and personal finance products. Looking for hot guys and partners in crime."

4) The do-er of things -- "I like to gym, ride, run, drive, dive, hike, hockey, afl/arl/nba, swim, soccer, beach, boxing, zumba, yoga, pilates dance, garden, animals, bbq, cook, coffee, beer, wine, socialize, entertaining, entertainment, movies, dvds, books, reading, festivals, markets, shopping and also chilling out. Looking for a bloke/dude/date."

5) The warning lady -- "I don't do hookups, I want respect, must have good grammar and a photo, and also apply any of the other themes. Looking for no playas only stayas."

6) The conservative -- "My family is my priority, but maybe a date also. Looking for a real man with values."

7) The positive neutral -- "Other people would describe me as a list of positive reaffirming attributes. Looking for mutual affirmation and respect."

8) The guru -- "I believe in a bunch of stuff, not necessarily other people's stuff, but stuff that I personally figured out as the best stuff, including but not limited to being into health, wellness, spirituality, science, art, philosophy, psychology, learning, creativity, and world cultures. Looking for someone to share more of me with."

9) The wordsmith -- "I totally acknowledge the article that makes mention of people who write more voluminously and with wit as being positively correlated with reception of a tertiary education in liberal arts which follows that they have a more fulfilling cognitive reflection of the universe, not that it's a big deal. Looking for a suitable male of the same species."

10) The alpha boss -- "I'm so financially independent that I would never waste my time on POF, but whatever works. Looking for similar, because the only thing better than an alpha boss is Double Alpha Boss!

My personal favorite is type 9) The wordsmith, and it also goes without saying that I'm still very very single, but I got a good feeling about this this time.