Tuesday, December 31, 2013

badideas 2013

Bad ideas, brain farts, no filter, 2013


sayit-- (greeting card captions)
  • There is instructables for everything, cloths shoes bags, and no shortage of badideas.
  • Detesting the mainstream since 5min ago.
  • random captions: spam terror network, inner west spammer, take that inner west, i only use fine spam, textured 3d lard, finest spam, ok spam, im a giver but also a taker, eco brown, inner west inspector, permission retained, inner west meh, not asking for permission since 2013, inner west bot seeking gender neutral bot, the denier, self absorbed
  • Commuters are just re-positioning themselves to process the next task of course.
  • Chase budgets not jobs
  • When did clam shell phones become ironic?
  • Look, I've assimilated all your shit, and you don't get my Borg reference?
  • I'm not at all embarrassed by producing discrete output.
  • I bring to you the gift of mirth, and you turn on me? Why?

badidea--
  • video-script:  So last weekend, I'm in a dark bar, holding up a wall, while my friend is standing in a line to get some beers, right. This woman walks up to me and says, "I've seen you before. If you're such a starving artist then you can eat my pussy". I was stunned! And she was not my type at all. She follows up with "I'll give you $10 bucks to blow me". Wow, holly shit, $10 bucks, this ain't right! At that point of the situation, I'm feeling a sense of panic coming over me. Then she grabs my crotch with one hand, naturally I get distracted, and she slaps me in the face with the other! At this point I'm trying to catch my breath, looking for my friend though a sea of people or any one who can help even though I'm speechless. Then she gets close, real close. All I could smell was scotch and hairspray. It was overwhelming. She says, "I'm a lady. Let me get you drunk first". True story.
  • On tourism: graffiti bike tours urban exploring
  • On content: Magazines are like paper blogs, updated once a month, and you have to pay 100 buck a year for the privilege of looking at their ads. In a year you would easily frequent a thousand blogs; that would cost everyone $100,000 per year. Who would still want that? That's why mags are gone and the internet is essentially free.
  • A post office box that is a shredder service, for those pesky bureaucracies that insist on spending snail spam.
  • On another ranting and modest proposal: The real world has barriers to entry at every step. Trying to contribute anything to a real world establishment needs to be seen as fraction of the total cost of ownership of an establishment. Compare that to the barriers to entry on the internet, where the marginal cost is near zero. The real world is mostly a heap of expensive waste, piled with mostly used up consumer waste and packaging, uninstalled investments, things made of tax, and things to do with apparent scarcity of safe space. The real world is full of immovable large scale objects that take billions of dollars to alter in any meaningful way. We should simply disregard the real world -- as one modest proposal. The real world is a place where our bodies get sustenance, our minds get hijacked with busy work, and waste comes out. The virtual world is where culture has a very active and dynamic existence. It is a place where active art, culture, and science thrive.
  • On art projects: Just script a lewd act and repeat to fill a collage, book, and exhibition space. 1) back lit crotch silhouette portraits, gender balanced x99 collage 2) make love to your bike, gender balanced x99 collage
  • video-script: ladies night / mens night at some venue; solicit street style on camera comments as people exit outside the venue (to minimize resistance from management), to fill a 3 minute clip
  • video-script: follow a garbage truck for photos at dawn, and speed it up to fit a 3 minute clip
  • On art projects: night photography, with remote triggered flash, full zoom, capturing subject in silhouette in the crossfire; need at least 3 people involved; around iconic sites like Harbour Bridge, Anzac Bridge, Pyrmont, Kings Cross, William St, Central Station

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